welcome to my little online diary! 
i want to use this space to write about the things happening in my life, good and bad! i am not sure how often i will remember to update this, but hopefully at least once a week.
3.28.24 yesterday i found out one of my best friends/roommate is pregnant.....with triplets! i'm going to throw a hell of a baby shower, because 3 babies is so many and she already has 2 kids. that was by far the most exciting thing to happen to me this week, so i had to make sure to make a diary entry about this. i've been trying to eat gluten free lately, but so far it's mostly just been. cutting down on gluten and still eating it sometimes because gluten free food is expensive and less yummy. if my tummy hurts a little bit i guess thats just how its gonna be. i've been working on my CDA classes on and off the last week, i need to do some catch up because i've been procrastinating lately.
3.24.24 i've been crazy sick since wednesday but today i finally felt good enough to get some things done! i cleaned my room (it needed to be cleaned soooo bad) and i went for a little walk! last night was really bad for me mentally, and i was very close to checking myself into impatient treatment and i'm still a little. on edge emotionally but i am trying to force myself to be okay. i might make a page on here for like. venting and sad stuff, i'd like to keep those thoughts seperate from my diary because they could be triggering or upsetting. i'm finally able to eat solid foods again, although my appetite has been significanly lower since i got sick. this week might be rough, but i'm going to power through it! i am craving summertime when i can go up to my aunt's pool on the weekends, i am hoping to spend as many weekends as i can there because i need all the sunshine and fun summer moments i can get.
3.18.24 today has been very long, but i got through it! work was pretty fun, a little girl learned how to say my name! she calls me "mayme" and its probably the cutest thing ever. after a loooong day of work i came home and worked on my classes for a few hours, and now im just killing time before bed. i dont have much time to work on my site for real today, so i'm just adding a little diary entry and i added a few new site buttons! i absolutely love browsing through different websites on neocities, there are so many creative and beautiful websites!
3.17.24 i finally started my classes to get my CDA certification for work! it should take a few months to complete the classes, and then i'll have to do some observation work and take a test. i'm hoping to be a lead teacher at my daycare by the end of the year, which i'm looking foward to! it's a lot of work but my job pays for the classes and i'd be getting a raise if i become a lead teacher. plus i'll have the certification, if i ever find a new job i'll be certified for higher positions! i haven't had anything to look forward to like this in a long time, and it keeps me busy which i'm thankful for. so far i've just barely started the classes, each course takes at least an hour so it's very time consuming. work's been going pretty well, although i am close to burnout from working full time. i've been trying to take a day off work once a week, but sometimes they're unable to give me the day so it's been hard. i'm ready for winter to be over, depression hits hard for me in march.
3.12.24 it's been a rough week so far, i had a therapy session today which was nice and i got to go off work early for this, but after my appointment i felt so drained that i slept for the entire evening. it's now 10 pm and i wish i had pushed myself to stay awake so i had more time to myself, because i'm suddenly stuck back in that endless timeloop of working all day and having very little free time at the end of the day. i just have to get through 3 more days this week, so hopefully i will push through them without any more panic attacks! i can feel my mental health slowly getting worse these days, and this is the time of year i usually have a major mental breakdown that sends me to the hospital and i'd rather. not have that happen again this year. i should probably be getting ready for bed right now but i wanted to get a few things done on my website before bed because working on this site is one of my favorite things to do lately. it's calming and fun!
3.8.24 i had a really long day at work today. not even an hour into my shift i had the worst panic attack i've had in a while, every time i thought i had control of my breathing it got worse again. i work at a daycare, and i love the kids to death but sometimes i get so overwhemled. after i managed to calm down, the kids were all very sweet about it and asked if i was feeling better which made me cry a bit more just because they were being so sweet. the day after that was just exhausting, nothing else bad happened but i was so worn out from crying that everything was very hard. i'm finally home now, and too exhausted to do much but at least it's the weekend! i'm looking foward to relaxing this weekend and hopefully getting some work done on my site.
3.7.24
today was a very long day at work, i've been sick for the past 2 weeks and going into work can be absolutely exhausting sometimes. it wasn't really a bad day, i actually had a lot of good moments. but sometimes i feel like all i do is go to work, and come home too exhausted to do anything else. 
3.29.24
2.20.24
2.16.24
1.31.24
this is my page to record my 11:11 wishes! i make a wish every time i see the clock turn 11:11, and i've been trying to record them the past few months just for sentimental reasons. i think it will be fun to look back and see the things i was wishing for at certain times in my life. this page might not be as interesting to read but i'm mostly just doing this for myself! 